Book Summary 20 — Art of Possibility

1) It’s all invented

we don’t observe reality, we confirm the map of the world we have in our head by seeing

“It’s all invented anyway, so we might as well invent a story or framework if meaning that enhances our quality of life and the life of those around us”

- it’s all just a story we tell
- not just some of it, but all of it
- with hidden assumptions
- what assumptions am I making?
- what else could be true if I changed them?

2) Stepping into a universe of possibilities

The World Of Measurement

- winning losing
- disappointment
- acceptance
- threat
- rejection

Universe of possibilty stretches past the world of measurement, comparing and rivaling.

Step past that and look at the bigger picture.

Does it matter?
Does if bring you closer to your goal?

3) Giving an A

Doesn’t mean much — just compares you vs others not necessarily how well you did

School chose top 50 students out of thousands — gave them assignments and only 30% given an A, rest super disappointed even though great quality

Michelangelo — every stone has art inside just need to chip away and set it free
like people — enable them

Giving an A — show respect and appreciation instead of expectations to live up to

Ben Experiment
send letter to teacher written in past tense of why you deserved an A and you will get A if reached
Less competitive pressure, more relaxed and willing to take risks.

Labels do not matter.

Be an A if you want to be.

DO NOT TAKE HUMAN INVENTIONS SERIOUSLY — INVENT YOURSELF, DON’T LET LABELS DEFINE YOU.

Grades measure the teacher’s disappointment with students’ style and interests which vary from her own — instead of providing real information about performance — it tells by how much, in the eyes of authority — he has fallen short of other students.

Give an A

Don’t lower your opinion about anyone, always treat them with respect and see the human behind the “mistake” or whatever else it is

Every time we alter a grade it defines thr limits of what is possible between us — GIVE THEM AN A — KEEP IT AN A.

also:
- Put a positive spin on things
- Think the best of anyone
- Let bygones be bygones

4) Being a contribution

Don’t get stuck on obstacles and measure yourself on success.
Contribute — it’s not about the measure of success, but the story we tell.
Don’t think about it as failure or success, BUT as CONTRIBUTION.
It doesn’t have sides.

Describe your life as a game (ie professional, family, etc.)
you pack away concerns and fear to fail
play by rules or adjust them yourself

shift context from survival to opportunity of growth

remember it’s all invented — just reinvent it!

5) Leading from any chair

- enable others
- collect feedback wherever whenever you can

Whatever part you play — lead by example and support the team

6) Rule Number 6

Don’t take yourself so goddamn serious.

Lighten up! which also might lighten up those around you.
- invitation to camaraderie

7) The way things are

- be present to the things we are, incl feelings about the way things are
- be present without resistance

something goes wrong

… and what do we do from here?

include mistakes into repertoire don’t get annoyed and try to see them as part of journey
Don’t go with “should have”
Don’t allow strong feelings to exit, blame, denial — keep them around as long as needed

Don’t judge people and situations — always grateful for situation

Don’t confuse things with abstractions — see things what they actually are not what someone told you or some aesthetic you’re trying to achieve

Glass half full — the way things are!

8) Giving Way to Passion

Energy is glowing through the world and each one of us can control it

1) Notice where you’re holding back and release barriers
2) Participate wholly — let yourself be passionate

9) Lighting the spark

Sometimes it’s better to meet in person — lighting the spark, the passion

Enrollment — practice of generating a spark of possibility for others to share

The Life Force for humankind is perhaps nothing more than the passionate energy to connect, express, and communicate.

Enrollment is that life force at work, lighting sparks from person to person, scattering light in all directions.

Sometimes the spark ignites a blaze, sometimes it passes quietly, magically, almost imperceptibly, from one to another to another.

10) Being the Board

If nothing works you rename yourself to the Board on which the whole game is being played.

Instead of blaming, accept for what the situation is

try to
- learn from it
- grow with it
- steer it in a different direction
- build a relationship

You chose your circumstances (accident in car etc risk of driving)

Be a graceful winner/loser or better player of the game

Blame doesn’t achieve anything

As leader take responsibility and don’t blame and scapegoat — it feels good and is liberating

Chess — don’t be just a piece, define yourself as board and try to work in favour of everyone

Don’t blame yourself either but notice the situation for what it is and try to make the best of it.

11) Frameworks for Possibility

Call upon the passion not the fear

- Framing
Vision is crucial

12) Telling the WE Story

Speak on your behalf as well as the other side — be just as enthusiastic for both
Tell the story of togetherness — connects us all, story of possibility
Bond with others and include them